Red or Blue?

The other day I received - in the same mail delivery - both a "Republican Census Document" and a "2005 Membercard" from the Democratic National Committee. I'm so confused - am I a red witch, or am I a blue witch? (Why, I'm not a witch at all!)

The Republican National Committee tells me,

You are among a select group of Republicans who have been chosen to take part in the official CENSUS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

Enclosed is your new GOP CENSUS DOCUMENT which was assigned and prepared especially for you as a representative of all Republicans living in your voting district.

Well, isn't that Special!

It shows a "Registration #" and "Voting District Code" and goes on to say,

Your answers will be used to develop a BLUEPRINT for the Republican party for the next 10 years.

I don't think so, Dorothy! I toyed with the idea (before I actually looked at the "census") of trying to come up with some way of screwing with them.

But the questions are so simple-minded and guided it's ridiculous. They mostly take the form, "Do you want to be safe?" with no suggestion of what they have in mind. OF COURSE I want to be safe!

But they leave out the part about the torture, the shredding of the Constitution, the neighbor against neighbor, the lies that they employ to impose their idea of safety.

It is of course a tool to get you feeling that these guys want what you want - security, economic growth, good schools, "saving" Social Security, fighting terrorists, to pick out a few.

Then they hit you with the money pitch:

Will you join the Republican National Committee by making a contribution today?

$100 will pay

to mail 250 more CENSUS DOCUMENTS to registered Republicans.

(Maybe I should check to see if I'm still a registered Democrat!)

For cheapskate Republicans, there's this:

Yes, I support the RNC, but I am unable to participate at this time. However, I have enclosed $11 to cover the cost of tabulating my survey.

What a bunch of leeches.

Here's a page linking to the whole package. They do seem to be putting the scare on the faithful. This is from the letter:

There is no question, the Democrats will be back with a vengeance.

Well I hope so! Then there's this:

And liberal special interest groups like People for the American Way, the Trial Lawyers and MoveOn.org, emboldened by their influence in 2004, are already filling their campaign coffers for 2006.

I had no idea the the Trial Lawyers was a liberal special interest group suitable for Capitalizing!

As I mentioned at the top, the Democratic National Committee also sent me a pitch. I prefer to donate online.